Joel
Emily slipped into my life pretty quietly. I don’t exactly remember the first time I met her. It was sometime during my junior year at Southern Adventist University, likely at one of our early morning prayer groups. I don’t remember too much about our interactions that year. We both helped provide music for a weekend prayer conference, both went on a few of the famous Eller camping trips, and according to my email archive, Emily even helped me out once or twice with the Primary Sabbath School class I was teaching. I also invited her and a couple other friends to go on a last-minute sky-diving trip! Neither of us ended up making it, and I’ve since offered her a raincheck - but she hasn’t been too enthusiastic about that proposal… ;)
While I wasn’t smitten quite yet, I did have a positive impression of Emily. If you had asked me to describe her at the end of that year, I probably would have said that she smiled easily, that she was a woman of integrity, and that she had a beautiful voice. That latter point brings up my earliest distinct memory of Emily. During one of those Eller camping trips, Emily sang a song that I had never heard before: #98 - Can You Count the Stars? I was entranced. To this day every time I think of that hymn, I can hear Emily’s sweet voice :) At the time I thought the force of the impression was primarily due to the song, but I know now that there was a lot more going on than just a pretty song!
I spent the next school year volunteering at a mission hospital in Ethiopia and didn't really keep up with Emily. When I came back to Southern for my senior year, however, I saw her around quite a bit. We had a lot of mutual friends, so we frequently ended up at the same activities. I don't have very many specific memories of Emily this year either, but looking back, I can see a few interesting connections. John Howe had the foresight to ask us both to be officers of the SAU Garden Club, and I remember several happy mornings helping weed and water and rake with Emily and various other members. I particularly remember one Garden Picnic that Emily catered; I was especially impressed with her carrot-green cookies! I am also grateful to a friend who kindly alerted me to the fact that Emily makes a mean vegan lemon monkey bread. I'm not sure, but given my abiding love for lemons, it's possible that this discovery marked a subconscious turning point in our relationship! :) Oh, and I also remember bumping into Emily once or twice at Timothy George and Jonathan Gerrans' (in)famous breakfasts of yore!
Emily
Joel was my knight in shining armor right from the time I met him, although I didn’t know just how true that metaphor would turn out to be! My first memory of him was at the early-morning prayer group that we both went to: six o’clock at the flagpole. I don’t remember an initial introduction; he was just always there. One morning I asked my friends to pray about my cell-phone situation. I had dropped it in the toilet and was now phoneless.
Without hesitation, Joel pulled his very own cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Here, have mine. I’m getting an upgrade in the mail today.” Many upgrades later, I still have that phone. Even though I’m not the collector-sort, I could never part with it. That phone has always been a reminder of his selfless, giving spirit, and the beginning of our friendship.
Ours was a pretty unassuming friendship. Joel's and my friend groups overlapped, and he knew my older brother, Luke. We were both part of the Garden Club and involved in outreach clubs on campus as well. I thought Joel was a really nice guy, but we didn’t hang out often.
Something I loved about Joel early on was his enthusiasm for music. He would sing with gusto at Hymn Sing on Friday nights after vespers at the boy’s dorm chapel. He would sometimes shut his eyes and smile while singing, and could sing any of the harmony parts with amazing precision. His joy was contagious and I always enjoyed it when he was there.
Beyond being impressed by Joel's generosity and singing skills, I especially value the time spent on camping trips with friends, the Eller family, and the LaGrange, Georgia Pathfinder group.
It was on one of those camping trips that something began to spark within me towards Joel: my heart melted when I saw the way he treated the children. (In all fairness though, this wasn’t the first time I saw how gifted he was with children. He taught the children at church and I think I poked my head in his class a time or two to help out.) Ok, back to the camping trip! It was here that I really saw his colors shining through. He took the time to kneel down and talk to them, teach them, sing with them, and be their friend. I had some not-so-fleeting thoughts, such as “He will make such a good daddy some day!” It was then that I first realized, “If this guy was ever interested in me, I’d be interested back.” Ironically, that same camping trip, Joel gave me a piece of chocolate (just being friendly, no doubt), and even gave my shoulders a squeeze when I was sitting by the campfire. I didn’t know what to think! Did he like me? Finally, I decided that he was just being friendly. Besides, I was pretty sure he liked one of my friends.
As the days in college began to wind down, I must have slowly become better friends with Joel. Maybe I have all of those delightfully early (and delicious!) breakfasts at Timothy George’s house to thank! When May graduation rolled around, I invited him and his family to join my family for a graduation get-together at the park. We had a great time, but I was pretty convinced our paths would diverge from that point. That weekend we both graduated from “Southern Matrimonial College”—single.
Joel
Emily and I both graduated in May of 2010. She thoughtfully invited my family to join hers for a picnic potluck the Sabbath before graduation, which we all attended and thoroughly enjoyed. I believe it was this same weekend that Luke (Emily's older brother and a friend of mine) talked to me about the possibility of accompanying him to Africa in the fall to do some construction and development with an NGO. This was perfect timing because I had been praying about the possibility of taking another year to do some kind of service project. Luke’s invitation turned out to be a blessing in another way, as well; all the planning, preparation, packing, and airport shuttling provided a terrific opportunity to further develop my friendship with Emily :) I wasn't yet conscious of how important this was going to be, but I know God was!
In September, Luke and I left for five months in Kenya and South Sudan. We did a variety of things, including assisting with the construction an orphanage in Kenya and completing several construction and agriculture projects in South Sudan. It was a wonderful experience and I was particularly blessed to be able to work with someone as cheerful, competent, and godly as Luke. My favorable estimation of the Fishers, already high, became even more firmly entrenched. (Luke and I discussed the subject of girls on more than one occasion, but I don't recall him ever telling me about Emily. Perhaps I hadn't yet passed the screening process!)
Emily
To my surprise, Joel didn’t vanish out my life. He went to South Sudan with my older brother, Luke. I drove them down to the airport in Atlanta, and saw them off—hoping and praying that they would return home in one piece. Thankfully, they did return home (all scraggly and hairy!), and I picked them up at the airport. It was good to have them back; I had been worried about those boys! My respect for Joel was well-established by this time. I knew him to be a godly, persevering, giving, and thought-provoking man.
Joel
After I got back from Sudan, I moved to North Carolina to begin law school, I didn't really have any contact with Emily for about a year, although she did faithfully comment on all of the blogs I wrote during that time. (I somehow didn't think anything of this…) The summer and fall after my first year of law school, however, was relatively busy for Emily and I. In May, John Howe and Martina Houmann decided to get married in Frederick, Maryland. I happened to be interning in Washington, D.C. that summer and living with my Grammy on her farm, not too far from Frederick. When I found out that Emily and her brother Andrew were coming out for the wedding, I invited them to stop by and visit the farm. The wedding was lovely, and Emily and Andrew did indeed stop by to visit! I enjoyed showing them around the farm, wading in the creek with them in the afternoon, and sharing a couple lively rounds of one of Emily’s and my favorite games - Telestrations! (Ask Emily about how she introduced me to Telestrations sometime!)
Then, in September, Luke married Chantée Nebblett in New Mexico and invited me to come. I didn't know very many people there, but the Fisher family generously welcomed me into their midst. I rode back and forth to various events among Fisher siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, ate meals with the family, and joined the bridal party for pictures. Most notably, I found myself, by happenstance (or more accurately, by divine arrangement), walking with Emily and Sister Anna on the Sabbath afternoon hike. I really didn’t plan it that way, but I sure had fun accompanying them down the mountain. That was one of the first times I remember talking exclusively with Emily, and I really enjoyed our conversation. It wouldn’t be the last!
Emily
I didn’t see or hear from Joel for a while, not until my brother Luke got married that is. Joel flew out to New Mexico for the weekend and stayed with my family. He seemed to fit in perfectly! Secretly, my hopes were rekindled toward Joel. On Sabbath, it so happened that while a group was on a hike, Joel walked down the mountain with my sister Anna and I. We didn’t say too much. Mostly, we sang. He was very patient with us and made a very cheery hiking buddy. As much as I enjoyed the hike, I felt a little self-conscious afterwards, since I didn’t feel like we had actually done much talking. Singing? That’s easy. But I never really talked to him! That would come though…
Joel
A few months later, in the midst of my second year of law school, Emily came up again. A friend asked me for some relationship advice and I didn’t quite know what to say. For some reason, God brought Emily to my mind. I remembered how impressed I had been by the way she conducted herself in college, and decided to call and pose the question to her. When she answered, and I began to ask my question, I suddenly realized how this probably appeared - me, calling out of the blue and asking for relationship advice. Flustered, I tried to articulate my innocuous reasons for calling (I truly had no ulterior motives!), but Emily graciously put me at ease and offered sound advice. I took careful notes, in the off chance that I might need them again some time.
Next spring, I found out that I would be working in Jacksonville, Florida after graduation. I immediately texted the only person I knew living near Jacksonville - Emily Fisher! I was hoping she might still be around in a year and a half when I moved down, so I would know at least one person there! Emily responded that she had just committed to go to Ireland as a counseling and community health intern. I was happy for her, but a little disappointed for me.
Emily
A few months after the wedding, I got a phone call from Joel—out of the blue. “Why is Joel calling me,” I wondered. When I found out that it was for relationship advice (of all things!), I hardly knew what to say. I thought to myself, “Don’t people ask relationship advice from people that they secretly like?” But we had a very meaningful and productive conversation. Turns out, he took notes.
A few months after the in-depth relationship discussion (but no communication otherwise), I got a text message from Joel. “Random question: How long will you be living in the Jacksonville area?” To which I replied, “Random answer: I will be moving to Ireland this summer.” He said, “Too bad for me; I'm moving to Jacksonville.” My mind spun, trying to grasp it all. Why was he telling me all of this? I was also bemoaning the fact that he would be coming to the Sunshine State, right after I moved away!
Joel
Shortly after this, a very dear friend, Caitlin Meharry, died of cancer. Even though I knew that Caitlin had put her trust in Jesus, and thus I did not grieve without hope, it was still pretty hard to handle. I went to Tennessee for her memorial service and was blessed to gain solace from the company of others who had loved Caitlin. One of those comforters was Emily. On Sunday morning after the memorial service, a group of us gathered for breakfast, reluctant to part ways. Emily was there, and I clearly remember how patiently and attentively she listened as I recounted memories of Caitlin. Although thoughts of romance were still far from my mind, God was gently bringing Emily to my attention.
Joel's sister, Christy:
After the sad time in Tennessee, Joel and I were talking on the phone about the experience. We were discussing the morning get-together, and how we had both appreciated Emily's kind presence. I remember Joel saying, "You know? Emily's a really nice girl!" Immediately my sister-lightbulb lit up! I called my mom as soon as I hung up the phone. "What about Joel and Emily Fisher!?" I asked. We talked about her many good qualities and both agreed that it could be a good idea. But nothing more was said about it, and the topic faded from our thoughts - for a time.
Emily
In March of 2013, our dear friend from college, Caitlin Meharry, passed away, and I drove up to Tennessee for the memorial service. Although I was friends with Caitlin, I was even closer to her close friends, and I wanted to be there for them. Joel was one of her close friends, and during that weekend, I saw him in a little different light than I had before. There were a few of us who sat on the kitchen floor for hours while Joel shared story after story about times with Caitlin. Those are sad but very precious memories for me. When I left to go back to FL, I felt like I knew Joel better than I had ever before. I felt like we were genuinely friends.
All of these friendship-landmarks were beautifully spaced out as to not arouse in suspicion in our hearts. As L.M. Montgomery wrote, “Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare . . . perhaps love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.”
Joel
The next spring and summer passed in a blur. That fall, Emily headed off to Ireland, and I wound up on her email list somehow. I enjoyed reading the periodic updates she sent out about her experiences, including the various supper clubs, health expos, and cooking schools she was assisting with. One weekend when I was up visiting my parents, my mother showed me some colorful fabric she had just gotten to make aprons for a church cooking school. For some unknown reason, (I think God can be awfully sneaky sometimes!) I decided that it would be a good idea to send Emily a care package with a couple of aprons for her to use at her cooking schools. Mom made a couple for me, and I took them back down to school to mail off. Believe it or not, I still had no conscious intent of making an impression on Emily! When putting the package together, it dawned on me that perhaps I should include something other than three aprons. I was in a hurry to send it off, but I found some blank cards that I thought Emily might be able to use to write little notes to people. At the last minute, however, I remembered that I still needed to write thank-you’s to my teachers, so I took a few out. “Oh well, one is better than nothing,” I reasoned… I wish I’d known how important that card was going to be…
Oh, I almost forgot. That fall, my church was in need of a kindergarten Sabbath school teacher, and somehow I ended up with the job. I really enjoyed it, although it turned out to be more work than I had foreseen! I was also helping lead out with several collegiate Bible studies, which entailed planning events, preparing studies, and leading seminars. Somewhere in the midst of all this, I had an 'aha moment': “I don’t want to do ministry by myself for the rest of my life!” For one, while there were a lot of things I could handle on my own, the increased load also revealed lots of my inadequacies. Brainstorming and executing kindergarten craft time every week is a lot harder than you might think! So is navigating the shoals of interpersonal dynamics that come along with group leadership! I think God was using these events to help me realize that the time was right to begin seriously looking for a helpmeet.
Emily
When the time came for me to move to Ireland, I put together an email list of friends and family that I wanted to keep in touch with. Joel was on the list. He would write back occasionally, just letting me know that he appreciated the emails that I sent and that he was praying for me. Once, I was surprised to see that he emailed me out-of-the-blue to tell me that he had had a dream about me! He said that in the dream he was visiting my family’s farm and it was a really happy experience. At the time, I didn’t know what to think, but now I do: some dreams really do come true!
In November of 2013, I was outside my house in Ireland when the postman arrived and handed me a package… from Joel! I looked at the postman as if to say, “This is for me??” He just laughed and said, “You’re Emily, aren’t you?” I thanked him and tried to wrap my mind around the fact that I was holding a package from Joel. What could it be? I opened it up, and to my delight, I found three aprons! Three aprons, a short, thoughtful note, and… a blank card.
I had been wanting to buy an apron, but now I had three--enough to share as well! Joel’s dear, talented mother, Janie, sewed them. She had been making some aprons for a cooking class she was involved in and agreed with Joel that I would enjoy some too!
Although Joel didn't know it, those aprons became the object of much teasing. My co-workers even gave them names. The nickname that stuck? Proposal Aprons! Of course, I was much too reserved to agree, and decided it would be better if I didn’t tell Joel about the reaction his apron gift caused… Unless he actually did propose to me someday. Then I could properly thank him for the Proposal Aprons. (So, thank you Joel, and Janie!)
Joel
A few weeks after sending the package, right before leaving to go on a mission trip for Christmas break, I got a letter in the mail. When I opened it up, I saw to my chagrin that Emily had sent my card back! “Oh no,” I thought. “She probably concluded I put that card in there as a hint to write back!” Reading her note carefully, I thought I detected a hint of dismissal, and, reasoning that I had not meant anything romantic by it anyway, I proceeded to put the whole affair on a back shelf in my mind. “That’s probably the last I’ll hear from her for a while,” I concluded.
Emily
I thought the aprons were awesome, but I wasn’t sure what to do with the blank note card. Was I supposed to use it to write him back? I sought the counsel of my trusty love advisor: Brother Luke. “Definitely write back,” was his advice. So, I did. But a few days later, I realized that Joel had probably just gone on Christmas break, so he wouldn’t get the thank-you card until mid-January. I am too much of a thank-you card enthusiast to let that long stretch of time go by without expressing my gratitude, so I decided to write him a quick email saying thanks as well.
Joel
To my surprise, a week or so later, I received a friendly email from Emily! I wrote back and told her a little bit about the mission trip I was on, and a few days later she responded. Then on my way to GYC, I dashed off a quick email about that, to which she also responded. GYC came and went in a flurry. (Of note, Christian Reeves* and I spent time discussing our single status and wondering when/whether God was going to unfold His better-half plans for us.) About a week after the conference had ended, I finally wrote Emily back to give her a little summary of the conference and pass along greetings from mutual friends. I fully expected that would be the end of our correspondence. After all, there weren’t really any other excuses to keep writing…
*Now also engaged :)
To her credit, Emily didn’t diplomatically wrap things up! She emailed back with some thoughtful comments about a blog I had recently written, and we began dialoguing about ministry, vocation, lessons God was teaching us, summer plans, hobbies, and more. At first I responded at carefully measured intervals, but as the email chain grew, my interest did as well. This girl was thoughtful, articulate, passionate about living for Jesus, and not least—seemingly interested in continuing the conversation!
Emily
A while later, Joel responded to my email. He had been on a mission trip to Belize, and soon he’d be going to GYC. I responded by asking him to greet my friends and family while there. This exchange marked the humble beginnings of a long string of letters back and forth.
The days turned to weeks, and soon it was about a month of communicating, and the pragmatic and romantic sides of me began to be at odds. I knew from the start of all of this that I was writing a guy that I could potentially be very interested in. I also knew, however, that I was going to be in Ireland for another year and a half and the thought of being in a relationship sounded complicated.
Although the topics we discussed were innocent and platonic, as our emails became more regular, I began to realize that this guy was potentially very interested in me! As February came along, I began to really wonder what was going on in Joel’s head. I knew Joel to be a thoughtful man, a man with purpose. I trusted him to be the sort of man who would not play with my heart, who would initiate the next step of our relationship. And what do you know? That’s exactly what happened!
Joel
After about a month of correspondence of gradually increasing frequency and length, I decided that I could no longer pretend that having long, regular, thoughtful conversations with a girl was an everyday occurrence, in no need of comment. It was time to address our growing friendship. It seemed like she might be open to the idea, but just to be sure, I casually suggested that since we were both planning to attend Friend Temple’s wedding that coming summer, perhaps I might be able to provide a ride up to the wedding. I figured that if she were not interested, she would decline the offer.
To my great relief, Emily accepted the invitation! So, I sent her the email I had carefully prepared, explaining her how much I had appreciated getting to know her and asking if she would be interested in stepping into a slightly more intentional friendship. I sent it late on a Friday afternoon, resigning myself, because of the five hour time difference, to wait at least until Sunday before I would allow myself to get worried at a lack of response. To my astonishment, she wrote back within a few hours—right as I was walking out the door to lead our collegiate Bible study for that week! My housemates urged me to read the email right away, but I decided to wait until after the study to open it. I figured that if Emily had turned me down, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the study—and if she said yes, I really wouldn’t be able to concentrate! That turned out to be a bit of a mistake because when I did finally read her exceedingly gracious acceptance later that night, I was so excited I couldn’t get to sleep for several hours!
Emily
Just to make sure that there was absolutely no confusion, Joel wrote me a letter on Valentines Day! In the letter he expressed his interest in me, and of course, wanted to know what I thought of it all. I knew exactly what I thought, and yet didn’t know what to think all at the same time!
After I wrote back, Joel also spoke with my dad, and they talked about the things that fathers talk to young suitors about—whatever that is. Anyway, I knew my dad approved, as did my mom and all my siblings and my friends. I was feeling very blessed.
Joel
After that, we started writing in earnest! :) I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Emily—what she liked, what she disliked, what she thought about this topic and that issue. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I was getting to know her heart. The months flew by, and before long I was driving up to Boston to pick her up from the airport! After several dreadful minutes, resulting from my discovery that I had been waiting at the wrong terminal, I found Emily—and promptly proceeded to get lost several times while trying to find my way out of Boston! Not exactly the best foot to start off on, but fortunately Emily didn’t seem to mind too much. I was delighted to find her as fascinating and beautiful in real life as I had come to find her via email. We had a lovely weekend in Vermont. One of the highlights was accompanying Emily as she sang for the wedding reception. I must say though, listening to her sing about “belonging together” was awfully distracting!
After the wedding, we parted temporarily. I took Emily to the airport to catch a flight to Oklahoma, and then drove back to Maryland. Thankfully the separation didn’t last too long, and I soon joined her for my first taste of life on the Fisher farm! A whirlwind week and a half later, I had been introduced to the whole Fisher clan at Sister Elisa’s wedding, gotten to see Emily in her native habitat, picked lots of corn, baled lots of straw, and taken a long walk with Emily on the Fourth of July during which she officially agreed to be my girlfriend. Hurray! We had to pack a lot in because on July 6, Emily left to return to Ireland for another year. It was awfully hard saying goodbye at the airport. But, we had a solid foundation to build on, and we trusted that God was leading and that He would strengthen and deepen our relationship in His way and time.
Emily
We began writing more and became better friends as the days went on. We were looking forward to seeing each other when I went back to the States for two and a half weeks. I knew that there would be a transition in our relationship. We both felt like we were in a holding pattern: should our growing friendship take off? Or should it land? I felt we could only find out by being together.
We made plans to meet in Boston and drive up to Vermont together for a mutual friend’s wedding. (Thanks for getting married, Philip and Temple!) After the VT wedding, Joel flew out to my family’s farm to spend some time with me and to attend my sister’s wedding. (Thanks for getting married, John and Elisa!).
We had a concentrated dose of together-ness and family events—and we both survived. Well, Joel barely survived. I had to be his nurse one evening after he got heat exhaustion baling straw with me out in the fields. It's funny how it is, when someone that you love is sick, and more than anything you wish you could be there right beside them and make them feel better. Yeah… that’s how it was for me. And it was there, by his vomiting, shaky, and very ill self—that I really became aware that I cared much, much more for him than I had previously realized.
Joel healed up nicely from the heat-exhaustion experience and soon we were in the countdown for my return back to Ireland. On Friday, July 4, we went on an unforgettable walk through the fields of the farm of my beloved home before sundown. It was then that he asked a question, and my answer was yes! (Inside joke for friends at Temple’s wedding ;)) No, he didn’t propose, but we were officially dating. The labels didn’t mean much to us, other than that our semi-official relationship became much more official and had taken off, instead of landing. We were thrilled!
On Sunday, with more tears than I’d like to admit, I boarded the plane to Ireland. The flight attendants weren’t sure if they could believe me when I told them that I was okay. Obviously, I wasn’t really okay. I’m glad that we’re getting married, because I really don’t like having to board an airplane to live on the other side of the world. Soon enough, our goodbyes will be for only short amounts of time! Yay!
Joel
I returned to Maryland and buckled down for three grueling weeks of down-to-the-wire studying in preparation for the Tennessee Bar Exam. I sat for the exam in Knoxville at the end of July. (By God’s grace, I passed!) Immediately after finishing, I left for Maryland—with a quick stop along the way in Florida. I stopped by Jacksonville—not to start work—but to spend a few hours with my newly-minted girlfriend! Emily had been in Florida for the funeral of a dear friend for a week, but she was scheduled to fly back to Ireland the next afternoon. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend a few hours with Emily, though, so I happily made an overnight trip down! After I arrived the next morning, we set off on our first date. We walked on the beach, went to a park, and ate a quick lunch, and then I took her back to the airport. Boy, it’s awfully hard to watch the girl you love get on a plane, knowing you aren’t likely to see her for a year!
By this time, I was certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life by Emily, if God permitted, and Emily agreed—and if her family would let me! This last point was partially why I finagled an invitation back to the Fisher farm for Thanksgiving. Emily wasn’t going to be there, but she warned me that I might face a gauntlet-running by visiting the farm at Thanksgiving, particularly as a suitor! I figured it couldn’t be all that bad—I knew the food alone would be worth the trip, and her family had seemed real friendly on my previous visit—besides, how else was I going to get permission to ask for her to marry me? :) Little did I know what I was in for!
Emily
So began another leg in our journey: We weren’t just friends from college; we didn’t just like each other, we loved each other. We didn’t just write, we talked… Our letters could fill up books, and when we talked, the hours flew by.
For Thanksgiving, Joel went to my family’s farm. What a brave man! Not only did he join in our somewhat-unconventional tradition of castrating calves on Thanksgiving morning, but he also helped deliver a deceased calf. I was very proud of him. Unbeknownst to me, he gave me another reason to be proud: he asked my parents for permission to marry their daughter. I guess they said yes!
Joel
Really, I had a wonderful time. I certainly got to know the Fishers better! I thought it was pretty impressive to watch them castrate eighty calves before Thanksgiving dinner. (And what a dinner it was!) But when it came time for the croquet tournament after the meal, featuring simultaneous, overlapping games played on an gopher-hill-studded field, I was really impressed! :) Other highlights from the visit included learning an awful lot about how cows get born (thanks for the veterinary lesson, Cousin Allyson), spending time with Emily's brother Andrew and twin sisters, Anna and Madalyn, and learning what to do when your gearshift comes uncoupled and the forks jam. I even got to preach at church on Sabbath! All in all, it was a very memorable trip.
Oh yeah. And before I left, Emily’s folks also told me I could ask for her hand in marriage!
I was so excited, I wanted to fly over and ask Emily right away! Citing my strenuous work schedule, I had previously cautioned her that I probably would be unable to come visit, so she had resigned herself to not being able to see me until the next summer. But waiting until July to ask her to marry me sounded like a nearly impossible task. Besides, Luke had called me all the way from Africa with some pertinent advice: “Girls generally appreciate having at least six months to plan a wedding.” If I didn’t want to be stuck waiting an entire extra year to get married, I would need to go to Ireland!
Emily
Meanwhile, I started thinking and dreaming more seriously about marrying Joel. My girlfriends began to notice a change in our conversations. It went from: “if Joel and I get married," to “when Joel and I get married!" I knew that Joel was more than I had hoped for—and was amazed that he thought the same about me! God is very kind to us.
In January 2015, I decided that it was safe to start calculating the months until I would see him again… Six months sounded like a long ways away, but it was nothing compared to what we had already been through. I braced myself for missing him for another half of a year. I desperately wished that Joel could visit me in Ireland, not only to show him around and introduce him to my friends here, but so that I could see him! But I knew his schedule and how busy work was for him, so I didn’t get my hopes up. It just wasn’t possible for him to fly over.
Joel
I couldn't come at Christmas, so I settled on February, a year after we started down the path of our 'purposeful friendship.' I had lots of help preparing for the trip. Emily’s parents did a fantastic job of keeping the trip under wraps, and also provided great advice and a wedding planning binder to take over :) My boss agreed that getting engaged was probably a meritorious reason to take a few days off work, and gave me permission to go. And Emily’s co-workers in Ireland went to great lengths to keep her from getting suspicious while they were arranging the perfect meeting!
Finally, on Wednesday, February 11, I left work a little early and caught a flight up to New York. Sitting in the terminal, I chatted briefly with Emily. She was excited about going with her team the next day to tour Old Head of Kinsale, a beautiful and exclusive golf course on a point of land that juts out into the Atlantic, off the southern tip of Ireland. “I will be thinking of you because we will be just a tad bit closer,” she told me. If only she knew how much I was looking forward to being “a tad bit closer!"
That night, high over the Atlantic, I tried to figure out how I was going to ask Emily to marry me; how to convey how much she meant to me, how full of gratitude I was that God had led her into my life. As I thought back over our story, I was struck by how improbable it was, from a human perspective, that we were together. I certainly couldn’t take credit for arranging it! We had spent two years together in college with scarcely a glimmer of interest on my part. I lived with her brother for five months, and not once did we discuss the possibility of me getting to know his sister. I had had a number of 'chance' encounters with Emily over several years, even to the extent of calling her up and asking for relationship advice, but somehow I still hadn’t gotten it. Finally, God used a couple of aprons, a stray card, and an innocent email exchange to bring me face-to-face with His impeccably choreographed plan. Wow! What a God! I finally managed to put together a few ideas, and happily fell asleep.
The next morning I caught a bus down from Dublin to Cork, where Jeff, Emily’s boss, picked me up. After a quick stop at the florist, we headed out to meet Emily and her fellow interns at Old Head. We were a little late, so they were already there waiting when we arrived at the parking lot outside the entrance to the course. Barely breathing, I hopped out and began walking toward Emily. I’ll never forget her reaction! Laughing about something, then turning—seeing me—confused, silent for an instant; then, hands on her cheeks, exclaiming in disbelief and joy! :D Perfect!
Emily
It was a typical Thursday in February, except that we had been invited by my friend Ed to tour an exclusive golf course at one of my favorite places in all of Ireland—the Old Head near Kinsale. My boss was bringing his family along in his car, and Ed was going to meet us there, so I drove and met them there with my crew.
We arrived at the parking lot a few minutes early, and then waited. And waited. And waited! Where were they? I sent Ed a quick text to check on him, and he said he’d be there in just a few minutes. When he got there, he said that Jeff was going to be late. So, he got into our car and we all sat and chatted. I was starting to get sleepy and considered napping for a few minutes. Finally, Jeff and his family arrived. I got out and started towards their car, looked up and… there was Joel! I couldn’t believe it was true! Was I dreaming? Was this real?
It was real. His hug was real, his smile was real, the red rose he gave me was real. I couldn’t stop smiling and asking him what he was doing there! We posed for a picture, then everyone else began to get back into their cars and leave. “Wait! What about the tour?” I was reassured that I would get a tour and was instructed to have a nice time. My mind was whirling. Was he going to propose? I began to think I knew the answer to that question…
Joel
We walked, hand in hand, down a winding path towards the sea. It was a chilly, blustery day, but as we approached the eighteenth green, in sight of a little red-and-white lighthouse, a patch of sunny blue sky appeared between the clouds. We sat down behind a bunker to get out of the wind, and there, teeth chattering a little, I proposed. I told her that of all the many important things I had learned over the course of a year’s relationship, the very most essential thing I’d learned was that I didn’t want to go through life without her by my side. Happily, heart-burstingly, she agreed!!
After I had asked for and received assurances that my ears were working, and that she was indeed serious, I pulled out her engagement present: a custom-made Bible with her (new) name engraved on the cover. Before heading blissfully back down the path to join the rest of the crew for a celebratory supper, we paused there on the shore of the ocean, hearts full, savoring our tiny taste of unfathomable love that Jesus has for each one of us.
Emily
It was beautiful out on the tip of Ireland. The golf course is on a peninsula, surrounded by the beautiful ocean. It was overcast and windy, but Joel and I didn’t mind. We walked around for a bit and soaked in each other’s company. We wandered down a path to a nice grassy area overlooking the ocean. We sat next to each other and Joel began to say some of the sweetest words that I’ve ever heard—how much he had grown to love me over the past year and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
“Emily Suzanne Fisher, will you marry me?”
I knew my answer: “Yes. Yes!” And a ray of sunshine peaked out from the clouds just at the right moment.
Instead of a ring, he gave me a beautifully bound custom-engraved Bible with a Celtic heart on the cover and "Emily S. Kurtz" at the bottom. It is a gift I will treasure for the rest of my life. I want it to forever be an emblem, not only Joel’s love towards me, but also of how we want Christ to be ever-present and guiding in our marriage.
After Joel convinced me that I wasn’t dreaming, we started walking back towards our car. There was a party waiting for us at a restaurant down the road. The team I work with cheered as we came in! It was special sharing the excitement with them, though I was so happy that I couldn’t really eat much!
* * *
It’s been a few months now, and I sometimes have to remind myself that I really am engaged to Joel Kurtz. I respect him and love him more than any other man, and will be honored to be known as his wife. Our story has just begun… and I am glad that it is never going to end!
To God be the glory!